I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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