I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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