I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
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I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
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It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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