the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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