Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize