i need an iv and a liver transplant
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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