my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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