Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize