Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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