I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize