Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
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