The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize