Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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