I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize