a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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