Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Betty ford says i'm here all night
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
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Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
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I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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