You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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