i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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