we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
We need to rekindle our bromance
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize