I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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