This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize