I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my shit smells like andre
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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