wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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