and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
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He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
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Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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