Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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