I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
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