he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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