I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize