Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
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He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
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All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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