We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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