the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
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now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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