should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize