I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Boobs are out for the taking
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize