I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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