I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
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So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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