i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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