Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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