is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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