loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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