from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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