Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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