ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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