My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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