Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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