Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
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