you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
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sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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