Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
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If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
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Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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