He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize