come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
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Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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