I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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